Three boats, three legs

They curse the man who stands at same time
On two separate boats with one foot on each
An opportunist with no moral, overt or sublime
Worse, to us true believers he dares to preach 

But you have not see him in his full notoriety
Where he has a third leg for one more boat
There is just no end to his sinister infidelity
What treachery and sellout he has invoked

He claims pseudo-leadership of the coalition
Only by default of his supremacist Di-An-A
Behind, he hugs a foe of Green Imposition
In scheming league per his perfidious way

Wait, there's more as he flirts with a newbie
A devious still-active despot, so damnable
Their Di-An-A make a Supremacist coterie
Arrogantly oblivious to proletarian struggle

Party factionalism results sadly in cessation
Of aid for once Loh Gwo Burne's constituency
Wong's Wrong-ed; Wrong-ed Wong's vexation
Suffers aid discontinuity despite his assiduity

An intra-party spite evokes ugly arrogance
In misusing power to punish the 'other' side
The Wannabe Leader shows clear evidence
Of sinister intent to push Team 'B' outside

There is no decent trace of moral principle
But only the obsession to cling on to power
Every which way goes, internal & external
Allies to strike ruthlessly, foes to pamper

He has been tutored by the most notorious
Who taught ways demanding a stone heart
To achieve victories meritorious or inglorious
But what happens when 3 boats move apart

An Imperator Never Apologises

I could not stand a man like him

Who desires some one’s behind

I won’t want him on my team

Don’t ever think I'd be so blind

Yes, I sacked him from the party

And sent him into the wilderness

But who’d have thought how wily

He was in aggressive bitterness

He dared to form Parti Reformasi

To fight me an unchallenged ruler

But he was let down by sodomy

And ended up at Bamboo River

As PM such a man must never be

Can the nation accept a sodomite

O' he disgusts me so unbelievably

I can't even countenance his sight

Years passed and I'm in deep shit

For trying to be like Lim Goh Tong

Losing several billions & a wee bit

Wasn't my error just a wee wrong

Now I need his party to play ball

But don't think I've accepted him

It’s just my usual hypocritical call

To attract Si Merajuk to my team

Once I’ve won the general election

I will not need his party anymore

He can continue his stay in prison

Hatred of him is deep in my core

I’m the nation’s highest Imperator

None will ever get the better of me

Even the PM has to be my mandor

Or he will end up like Jibby & AAB

Selamat Hari Raya to all Malaysians

The Ultimate Prioritisation

From UK Metro:

Runaway pigs held up traffic for five hours after they escaped from a lorry taking them to a slaughterhouse.

The road hogs made their bid for freedom after their truck crashed into another vehicle on the side of the highway in Ikeda, western Japan.

Out of the 37 animals on the truck 19 tried to save their bacon.

The video filmed from a passing car shows the pigs casually trotting up and down the hard shoulder while others laze and sniff about on the verge.

Police officers spent five hours trying to ensure the pigs did not stray into oncoming traffic.

Japanese media reported none of the pigs were harmed in either the crash or the capture process,

However, it was unclear of the pigs were taken to the slaughterhouse after they were rounded up by police.

I have to say the Japanese police are not only tolerant but also compassionate, as they realised those pigs were due for the abattoir, and a last chance to "thank you Ma'am" would be an appropriate and timely pre-execution "last meal".

I was on my way to the slaughterhouse

To meet my fate, my pre-destined end

I thought I would be quiet as a mouse

But by holy grace, a last gift was sent 

'Twas Petunia, my pen-mate in the farm

Who oinked to me about our to-be karma

That for us there'd be no further harm

If we took a "bonk" prior to our samsara

Policemen compassionate as Buddhists

Stood very silently and sympathetically

As we worked ourselves into exotic bliss

One for the road, one whispered quietly

We shall become happier bacon and ham

As Macca's breakfast burger and tonkatsu

If you don't like haram Maccas, goddam

Then Penangites may enjoy us as bah-hoo 

Wakakaka

Let us not forget Teoh Beng Hock

Alas, someone in the DAP might have forgotten

The evil that was perpetuated on a young man
By a Nazi-like organization that has been rotten
Yet easily forgiven by a political flash in the pan

All for grubby politics, none for integrity nor justice

For a man slain on the very eve of his wedding day

Oh we weep, what treachery to become so solicitous

To abandon principles, an evil crime now is gainsay

DAP leader Lim Kit Siang shook hands with Rohaizad Yaakob, a top Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) official to show the opposition’s solidarity with the MACC 

Yet just a year earlier Kit Siang in his article, titled "Malaysians will not rest until justice is done for the killing of Teoh Beng Hock" said DAP and Pakatan Rakyat would continue to highlight the injustice of Teoh Beng Hock’s unresolved murder

what utter bullshit

But I haven't!

When is the MACC going to hand over to the police the person responsible for the untimely death of Teoh Beng Hock?

Remembering Mohd Thaqif

Mohamad Thaqif Amin Mohd Gaddafi 

My name is Mohd Thaqif, I have since left you
Thanks for crying about my sudden departure
Although I wonder whether PAS do feel blue
Maybe they are busy preaching their Rapture

My country proudly produces world class rubber
To permit powerful vehicles to speed, buildings
To withstand earthquakes, but makes me wonder
Why I suffered from a rubber hose, of all things

My parents believe 'twas fate that sent me 'away'
Such is their piety for our god, they blame no one
But wasn't it sceptic infection of legs, as some say
Alas, I won't be around to hear who lost who won

What had led to that infection please do find out
If not for anyone, then to save future generation
So that children like me can study to be devout
To god without accompanying cruel punishment

Gong Xi Fa Cai to everyone

Keris kueh

Note we ain't no Arabs no more
As can be seen, we are Malays
Ya, we ain't the sheik's mandore
We've given up* our camel days

* temporarily, wakakaka

Please vote for us, we of thy bangsa
This applies to you, our pals in PKR
And no camel as we'll use Proton Saga
In Sungai Besar and Kuala Kangsar

We've even celebrated our muktamar 
With a gigantic halal green pulut cake
Yes, we are prepared to go very far
As to use a keris on what was baked

But once the election's over, lose win
We'll ta-ta our Hang Tuah garb adieu
Then once again we'll be happily seen
With a Middle-Eastern camel or two

I miss the massage ... er ...bonking on top of my back 

Recalcitrant no more

I wanted to laugh but instead tears fell in my heart
Then I wanted to cry yet couldn't help but ponder
Of sweet irony in an once arrogant pride torn apart
We can only view his humiliation with pitiful wonder

Once he walked in the corridors of unbridled power
And subjugated even the most highborn to his will
T'was said that many before him were seen to cower
Then when he passed by, even more stood very still

Seen as one who's never wrong in all his decisions
His stately words were considered as precious gold
Countless were ooh’s & aah’s wrapping his visions
But they're all gone now, as the new 'truths' unfold

O How the mighty has fallen, his weapons perished
In his distressed call of help to one so hated before
How he allows his own maruah to be so diminished
With a sad silent cry that he’s recalcitrant no more

Anwar's greatest fear

Anwar Ibrahim's greatest fear is that people will forget him.

I suspect that has been why he has decided to represent himself in the RM100m suit against Nalla so that he keeps himself in the public eye, wakakaka.

And that too has been why his wife, daughters and supporters have frequently raised issues about him, such as nominating him for the Nobel Prize.

Mind you, this proposed nomination might not be a wasted effort as the Norwegian committee for the Nobel Peace Prize has been known to be controversial in awarding the Prize to unexpected people.

Anyway, a kaytee poem for Anwar Ibrahim, wakakaka:

Oh I used to float like a butterfly
and sting like a bee, nay, tebuan*
I can't accept my political goodbye
It's cruel to make me sing like a swan

* being formerly UMNO, wakakaka

This post has been published in my other (socio-political) blog, KTemoc Konsiders.

Hypnos cradles me gently

Six years ago I wrote 'My Day of Infamy' in my other blog KTemoc Kongsamkok, a two-part post about my horrendous experience with a blind date.

During that date, due to self-inflicted circumstance (too much scotch, single malt do you mind, wakakaka), I ended up behaving like a most unchivalrous cad for a Penang bloke, sigh.

The 2-part post were:

(a) My Day of Infamy (1)
(b) My Day of Infamy (2)

Wakakaka.

My poet-blogger matey, caravanserai, posted a comment-poem in Part 2 to commiserate with my horrific reminiscence (thanks matey). Yes, 'twas horrific both in my personal experience, wakakaka, and my unwitting unintentional bad behaviour, sob, sigh, sorry.

I had then responded to caravanserai in kind, and after 6 years believe I should record my lil' poem about my experience here in KTemoc Komposes, wakakaka. 

I have also taken this opportunity to amend and edit it to straighten out inconsistent grammar, replace some words and add in one extra stanza, wakakaka.

kaytee the greenhorn, wakakaka 

Like a naïve greenhorn scout

I arrive at a strange flowing river
On its strength I have my doubt
So dip my toe in to test the water

I worry, I fret but I step in despite
Admittedly clumsily, not in style
Then something on my leg bite
Oh holy Mum, ‘twas a crocodile

She chomps her jaws on kaytee
Her name terrifyingly is Medusa
I appeal to Dionysus to help me
Intoxicate me to sleep wakakaka

So into slumberland I disappear

Dear Glenfiddich took me safely

Into its great 'Valley of the Deer'

Where Hypnos cradles me gently

Medusa 

Wakakaka.

P/S

Dionysus - Greek God of Wine

Hypnos - Greek Goddess of Sleep

Medusa - one of the monstrous Gorgons in Greek mythology (and my blind date, wakakaka)

Glenfiddich means 'Valley of the Deer' in Scottish Gaelic

Gong Xi Fa Cai

Wishing all my visitors and friends

May your journey through the Year of the Monkey be safe and filled with happiness, health and success.

Wakakaka!

The new couple

Cium cium cium kissy kissy sayang
We're so deliciously close together
Darling I am now like your bayang
In a country so "perfect" & super

We've gone PAS-t our old quarrels
Our UMs NO longer crossed akimbo
Just forgive & forget our old battles
From today you're my sweet beau

But what about the kaki kangkang

Slut who hangs on to your bahteow

Won't she harass you, her abang

Mind, don't blame her as she's heow

Hey, what about a ménage à trois

We'll play it a la falling dominoes

I think tiga is more syiok than dua

Tho' A will envy our peccadilloes

Wakakaka

Dirge for Hindraf

On 05 April 2013 I penned the following 4-line dirge for Hindraf in my letter to Malaysiakini titled Plagiarism cries, and the Tragedy of Hindraf to capture the essence of all that went horribly wrong for Hindraf.

Alas, here lies a once great movement
That had wanted its people to be free
But it failed even its own development
Shackled by its leader’s lamentable hubris

More than 2 years have since past before I decide to record them here in KTemoc Komposes. And it is an opportunity for me to add another 4 lines, a sincere appeal for Hindraf leaders to abandon its self-imposed mental 'ghetto' bordered by race and religion:

But why shackle your own downtrodden
Further with colour, caste and creed
So discard the burden of all that's rotten
By all being from one Malaysian breed

Read also:

(1) 25 November 2007

(2) False prophets of Kampung Buah Pala

Forgetting Teoh Beng Hock

O so soon you've forgotten me
Hey, my late name was Teoh Beng Hock
Is that even in your memory
Or just a wee footnote in history
My story soon to become mere talk-cock

Those who sinned against me
Cursing my family with veritable untold woes
Making Er Jia a fatherless baby
And those men with no pity
Have become icons by you, your new heroes

Thou faithless headless chooks

Have further insulted my already grieving family
Giving the enemy support but not rebukes
Ever greater pain my family now brooks
All because of your sad self-interest treachery

Bhai once said don't be immoral
In desperately seeking victory without morality
Nor should one be ever unethical
But safeguard and value our principle
To never sacrifice and replace with hypocrisy

YOU UNMITIGATED HYPOCRITICAL BASTARDS!

Read also my KTemoc Komposes posts:

(1) Remembering Teoh Beng Hock

(2) The murder of Teoh Beng Hock

(3) I work for the rights of the dead

And read Malaysiakini:

(1) MACC - from zero to hero in eyes of 'hypocrites'

(2) Opposition visits MACC HQ to show solidarity

Bangla in Pilihanraya

This is an old one, posted on 05 May 2013 in my other blog KTemoc Konsiders.

The date 05 May 2013 was the day when Malaysia held its 13th general elections. Then there were accusations by one party of another party bringing in tens of thousands of Bangladeshis to (illegally) vote for the latter party, with suggestions that such Bangladeshi voters would be rewarded with Malaysian citizenships.

True or false, the accusations inspired me on that election day to pen the following lines though more in jest, wakakaka. Then I had written only 3 stanzas. Today I take the opportunity to add in one more to make it a 4-stanza piece.

By the by, it's worthwhile reading The Star Online article Bringing back passion in Penang food (by Dorairaj Nadasan) which is related to some aspects of what I have written, wakakaka.

Hello, my name is Mr Farooq Majumdar
I was born in Kampung Paya Terubong
Which by the way, Sahib, is not very far
Just the distance for a Bangladeshi song

Yes Sahib, indeed I am very very Malaysian
Which is why today I have come to vote
‘Coz there is also lucrative compensation
And I really don’t mind coins or bank note

Come to think of it, I've a Malaysian mien

I work goreng-ing at a char koay teow stall

And pahkok with Ah Peh Ah Ee in Hokkien

While my towkay sits behind doing f*-all

* Malaysian and Penang Hokkien words (italicized) explained below

Best of all I don’t have to go home, I mean

Kampung Paya Terubong is now my address,
And that’s what makes me really super keen
To vote as told, for a citizenship to possess

"Farooq you naughty rascal, come home immediately"

wakakaka (with sincere apologies to Madame Sheik Hasina)

* Malaysian

i. goreng = fry or frying (as in koay teow noodles)

** Penang Hokkien words
i. char koay teow = fried rice noodles

ii. pahkok = engaged in casual conversation

iii. Ah Peh Ah Ee = honorifics (uncle & auntie) for seniors of parents' age

iv. towkay = boss

My Way

My way or the highway
My bridge or the ditch
Last chance, that's my say
So go consult your witch

Em is bigger than amNO
Thus the party I'll destroy
Who cares if it faces woe
If I don't have my 'lil joy

I have done it once before
I will happily do it again
Now you know the score
So bloody use your brain

I'm the most-est, yes me
who floats like a butterfly
No, it ain't that Mohd Ali
who's more like a gadfly

I'm the one who can sting
Like a pissed off tebuan
If you dare fail to bring
All those I said I want

I'm focussed on my aim
Better not get in my way
Whatever I doth claim
Have it ready by today

Sonnet for Satay Scoundrels

move to Putrajaya my bloody foot

ooops, would that be seditious?

wakakaka

To the overburnt rancid satay culprits:

What is but there for you to do
other than to serve the people
If on this you haven’t a clue
Then you’re in f* deep trouble

Place your own gross desires
behind your obligated task
From you all it just requires
isn’t much of a big f* ask

No more of burnt rancid satay
That poisons a friend’s mind
Or of mutual trust you betray
With it, golden bonds unbind

Belay your foul bullshit move
to that fabled Putrajaya city
Your own interest do remove
Its real motive we want to see

Put your bloody back to the job
For the rakyat, sweat and toil
And do not their hopes f* rob
Nor their trust you bloody soil

You damn mongrels!