Hi there, Treachery is my middle name
Though some call me fondly 'Can't-Face'
Sympathise with me, my reach for fame
I have just lost, thus setting me in a daze
I wonder whether it's my physical stature
The disadvantage that my parents gifted
Making me stand out as a stunted fixture
Whilst around me the bastards sniggered
I did try my best to become Number One
Stabbing my way insidiously to the Top
T'was sheer delightful assassinating fun
Eff-ing others, seeing their careers flop
I thought no one could stop my ascent
What with dear Uncle by my cozy side
Blunder, I eff-ed myself, a man's scent
In Sandakan sent me nowhere to hide
Wakakaka