Remembering Mohd Thaqif

Mohamad Thaqif Amin Mohd Gaddafi 

My name is Mohd Thaqif, I have since left you
Thanks for crying about my sudden departure
Although I wonder whether PAS do feel blue
Maybe they are busy preaching their Rapture

My country proudly produces world class rubber
To permit powerful vehicles to speed, buildings
To withstand earthquakes, but makes me wonder
Why I suffered from a rubber hose, of all things

My parents believe 'twas fate that sent me 'away'
Such is their piety for our god, they blame no one
But wasn't it sceptic infection of legs, as some say
Alas, I won't be around to hear who lost who won

What had led to that infection please do find out
If not for anyone, then to save future generation
So that children like me can study to be devout
To god without accompanying cruel punishment

Gong Xi Fa Cai to everyone

Keris kueh

Note we ain't no Arabs no more
As can be seen, we are Malays
Ya, we ain't the sheik's mandore
We've given up* our camel days

* temporarily, wakakaka

Please vote for us, we of thy bangsa
This applies to you, our pals in PKR
And no camel as we'll use Proton Saga
In Sungai Besar and Kuala Kangsar

We've even celebrated our muktamar 
With a gigantic halal green pulut cake
Yes, we are prepared to go very far
As to use a keris on what was baked

But once the election's over, lose win
We'll ta-ta our Hang Tuah garb adieu
Then once again we'll be happily seen
With a Middle-Eastern camel or two

I miss the massage ... er ...bonking on top of my back 

Recalcitrant no more

I wanted to laugh but instead tears fell in my heart
Then I wanted to cry yet couldn't help but ponder
Of sweet irony in an once arrogant pride torn apart
We can only view his humiliation with pitiful wonder

Once he walked in the corridors of unbridled power
And subjugated even the most highborn to his will
T'was said that many before him were seen to cower
Then when he passed by, even more stood very still

Seen as one who's never wrong in all his decisions
His stately words were considered as precious gold
Countless were ooh’s & aah’s wrapping his visions
But they're all gone now, as the new 'truths' unfold

O How the mighty has fallen, his weapons perished
In his distressed call of help to one so hated before
How he allows his own maruah to be so diminished
With a sad silent cry that he’s recalcitrant no more

Anwar's greatest fear

Anwar Ibrahim's greatest fear is that people will forget him.

I suspect that has been why he has decided to represent himself in the RM100m suit against Nalla so that he keeps himself in the public eye, wakakaka.

And that too has been why his wife, daughters and supporters have frequently raised issues about him, such as nominating him for the Nobel Prize.

Mind you, this proposed nomination might not be a wasted effort as the Norwegian committee for the Nobel Peace Prize has been known to be controversial in awarding the Prize to unexpected people.

Anyway, a kaytee poem for Anwar Ibrahim, wakakaka:

Oh I used to float like a butterfly
and sting like a bee, nay, tebuan*
I can't accept my political goodbye
It's cruel to make me sing like a swan

* being formerly UMNO, wakakaka

This post has been published in my other (socio-political) blog, KTemoc Konsiders.

Hypnos cradles me gently

Six years ago I wrote 'My Day of Infamy' in my other blog KTemoc Kongsamkok, a two-part post about my horrendous experience with a blind date.

During that date, due to self-inflicted circumstance (too much scotch, single malt do you mind, wakakaka), I ended up behaving like a most unchivalrous cad for a Penang bloke, sigh.

The 2-part post were:

(a) My Day of Infamy (1)
(b) My Day of Infamy (2)

Wakakaka.

My poet-blogger matey, caravanserai, posted a comment-poem in Part 2 to commiserate with my horrific reminiscence (thanks matey). Yes, 'twas horrific both in my personal experience, wakakaka, and my unwitting unintentional bad behaviour, sob, sigh, sorry.

I had then responded to caravanserai in kind, and after 6 years believe I should record my lil' poem about my experience here in KTemoc Komposes, wakakaka. 

I have also taken this opportunity to amend and edit it to straighten out inconsistent grammar, replace some words and add in one extra stanza, wakakaka.

kaytee the greenhorn, wakakaka 

Like a naïve greenhorn scout

I arrive at a strange flowing river
On its strength I have my doubt
So dip my toe in to test the water

I worry, I fret but I step in despite
Admittedly clumsily, not in style
Then something on my leg bite
Oh holy Mum, ‘twas a crocodile

She chomps her jaws on kaytee
Her name terrifyingly is Medusa
I appeal to Dionysus to help me
Intoxicate me to sleep wakakaka

So into slumberland I disappear

Dear Glenfiddich took me safely

Into its great 'Valley of the Deer'

Where Hypnos cradles me gently

Medusa 

Wakakaka.

P/S

Dionysus - Greek God of Wine

Hypnos - Greek Goddess of Sleep

Medusa - one of the monstrous Gorgons in Greek mythology (and my blind date, wakakaka)

Glenfiddich means 'Valley of the Deer' in Scottish Gaelic

Gong Xi Fa Cai

Wishing all my visitors and friends

May your journey through the Year of the Monkey be safe and filled with happiness, health and success.

Wakakaka!

The new couple

Cium cium cium kissy kissy sayang
We're so deliciously close together
Darling I am now like your bayang
In a country so "perfect" & super

We've gone PAS-t our old quarrels
Our UMs NO longer crossed akimbo
Just forgive & forget our old battles
From today you're my sweet beau

But what about the kaki kangkang

Slut who hangs on to your bahteow

Won't she harass you, her abang

Mind, don't blame her as she's heow

Hey, what about a ménage à trois

We'll play it a la falling dominoes

I think tiga is more syiok than dua

Tho' A will envy our peccadilloes

Wakakaka

Dirge for Hindraf

On 05 April 2013 I penned the following 4-line dirge for Hindraf in my letter to Malaysiakini titled Plagiarism cries, and the Tragedy of Hindraf to capture the essence of all that went horribly wrong for Hindraf.

Alas, here lies a once great movement
That had wanted its people to be free
But it failed even its own development
Shackled by its leader’s lamentable hubris

More than 2 years have since past before I decide to record them here in KTemoc Komposes. And it is an opportunity for me to add another 4 lines, a sincere appeal for Hindraf leaders to abandon its self-imposed mental 'ghetto' bordered by race and religion:

But why shackle your own downtrodden
Further with colour, caste and creed
So discard the burden of all that's rotten
By all being from one Malaysian breed

Read also:

(1) 25 November 2007

(2) False prophets of Kampung Buah Pala

Forgetting Teoh Beng Hock

O so soon you've forgotten me
Hey, my late name was Teoh Beng Hock
Is that even in your memory
Or just a wee footnote in history
My story soon to become mere talk-cock

Those who sinned against me
Cursing my family with veritable untold woes
Making Er Jia a fatherless baby
And those men with no pity
Have become icons by you, your new heroes

Thou faithless headless chooks

Have further insulted my already grieving family
Giving the enemy support but not rebukes
Ever greater pain my family now brooks
All because of your sad self-interest treachery

Bhai once said don't be immoral
In desperately seeking victory without morality
Nor should one be ever unethical
But safeguard and value our principle
To never sacrifice and replace with hypocrisy

YOU UNMITIGATED HYPOCRITICAL BASTARDS!

Read also my KTemoc Komposes posts:

(1) Remembering Teoh Beng Hock

(2) The murder of Teoh Beng Hock

(3) I work for the rights of the dead

And read Malaysiakini:

(1) MACC - from zero to hero in eyes of 'hypocrites'

(2) Opposition visits MACC HQ to show solidarity

Bangla in Pilihanraya

This is an old one, posted on 05 May 2013 in my other blog KTemoc Konsiders.

The date 05 May 2013 was the day when Malaysia held its 13th general elections. Then there were accusations by one party of another party bringing in tens of thousands of Bangladeshis to (illegally) vote for the latter party, with suggestions that such Bangladeshi voters would be rewarded with Malaysian citizenships.

True or false, the accusations inspired me on that election day to pen the following lines though more in jest, wakakaka. Then I had written only 3 stanzas. Today I take the opportunity to add in one more to make it a 4-stanza piece.

By the by, it's worthwhile reading The Star Online article Bringing back passion in Penang food (by Dorairaj Nadasan) which is related to some aspects of what I have written, wakakaka.

Hello, my name is Mr Farooq Majumdar
I was born in Kampung Paya Terubong
Which by the way, Sahib, is not very far
Just the distance for a Bangladeshi song

Yes Sahib, indeed I am very very Malaysian
Which is why today I have come to vote
‘Coz there is also lucrative compensation
And I really don’t mind coins or bank note

Come to think of it, I've a Malaysian mien

I work goreng-ing at a char koay teow stall

And pahkok with Ah Peh Ah Ee in Hokkien

While my towkay sits behind doing f*-all

* Malaysian and Penang Hokkien words (italicized) explained below

Best of all I don’t have to go home, I mean

Kampung Paya Terubong is now my address,
And that’s what makes me really super keen
To vote as told, for a citizenship to possess

"Farooq you naughty rascal, come home immediately"

wakakaka (with sincere apologies to Madame Sheik Hasina)

* Malaysian

i. goreng = fry or frying (as in koay teow noodles)

** Penang Hokkien words
i. char koay teow = fried rice noodles

ii. pahkok = engaged in casual conversation

iii. Ah Peh Ah Ee = honorifics (uncle & auntie) for seniors of parents' age

iv. towkay = boss

My Way

My way or the highway
My bridge or the ditch
Last chance, that's my say
So go consult your witch

Em is bigger than amNO
Thus the party I'll destroy
Who cares if it faces woe
If I don't have my 'lil joy

I have done it once before
I will happily do it again
Now you know the score
So bloody use your brain

I'm the most-est, yes me
who floats like a butterfly
No, it ain't that Mohd Ali
who's more like a gadfly

I'm the one who can sting
Like a pissed off tebuan
If you dare fail to bring
All those I said I want

I'm focussed on my aim
Better not get in my way
Whatever I doth claim
Have it ready by today

Sonnet for Satay Scoundrels

move to Putrajaya my bloody foot

ooops, would that be seditious?

wakakaka

To the overburnt rancid satay culprits:

What is but there for you to do
other than to serve the people
If on this you haven’t a clue
Then you’re in f* deep trouble

Place your own gross desires
behind your obligated task
From you all it just requires
isn’t much of a big f* ask

No more of burnt rancid satay
That poisons a friend’s mind
Or of mutual trust you betray
With it, golden bonds unbind

Belay your foul bullshit move
to that fabled Putrajaya city
Your own interest do remove
Its real motive we want to see

Put your bloody back to the job
For the rakyat, sweat and toil
And do not their hopes f* rob
Nor their trust you bloody soil

You damn mongrels!

I ain't no chicken farmer

Malaysia Boleh so think BIG lah

wakakaka

Torn from my vigilant duties at the border

Guarding against entry of seditious ashes

For Negara and Merdeka I restored order

By arresting those purple-dressed pipi-ess

Wearing wrong colored shirts was their fault

When blue would have won for them the day

Then their Merdeka march I wouldn't dare halt

And their intention, I won’t have a single say

2009 was 2009, so why still talk about Kugan

And I also resent being labelled a mongrel

Regardless of whatever political affiliation

My groomed hair shows I’m not a scoundrel

I admit I am angry for what I saw on Twitter

But only for failing to give me proper due

By comparing me to a failed chicken farmer

For that mistake I'll make the offender rue

Do you know who's the failed chicken farmer?

Answer at bottom

Don’t you dare confuse me with legal fact

Of what's ‘illegal’ and what's ‘unregistered’

Don’t trouble me with obfuscating abstract

I am who I am, I've decided they've erred

Yesterday Boss wanted us to up our unity

To face any challenge and whatever test

Well, what better test than free nasi curry

So stop whining, whinging and your protest

Look at those who praised my patriotic action

They of blue ‘pedigree’, ‘proper’ upbringing

Saying my mini Ops Lalang has justification

From them I hear only encouraging singing

I shall help leave behind a peaceful Malaysia

Of prosperity where RM6 billion is nothing

Once my duty's done, for jolly good measure

I’ll be back at the border so no ash sneaks in

He was the unsuccessful chicken farmer

Above also published in letter to Malaysiakini on 01 September 2014

The Champion Buffalo

yo, right up to my f**king neck in water

wakakaka

I am the rogue, the outcast, a pariah

Living in the shade of a yellow brolly
My personal position in straits dire
Due to my pathetic pompous hubris

In truth I am greatest, the mostest
Tho' thick skin like a water buffalo
No one can be like me the smartest
With a brain like an overripe pomelo

I can knock down friends and foes
Sting them like venomous scorpion
Knock them for six like dominoes
I am no less a right royal champion

Splish splash, we kerbau love water
Wallowing in muddy cesspool bath
Tho' you may find such filth a horror
We luxuriate in such a decadent path


Moo moo moo moo moo moolah
Wakakaka wakakaka wakakaka

The most dangerous woman in Malaysia

Her smile radiates scintillating beams of thousand volts
It’s said on the Dacing she weighs more than a vampire
Her straight messages to the foes are like thunderbolts
O Dyana, you’re the most dangerous woman in Malaysia

A Doctor was galvanized into admonishing the parents
He was followed by an army of doomsayers in the rear
Including thugs on motorcycles with their vicious stunts
O Dyana, you’re the most dangerous woman in Malaysia

Lahad Datu had nothing on a photo-ed bikini-ed recruit
Who wasn't even aware she was coopted most unfair
Desperate sinister forces misuse the dear Pinoy beaut
O Dyana, you’re the most dangerous woman in Malaysia

Not since our Hellenic sweetie, wakakaka, she from Troy
Has there been so much consternation, worries and fear
Forcing the Sith Lord’s Goebbel-like battalions to deploy
O Dyana, you’re the most dangerous woman in Malaysia

A Sylvester Stallone wannabe mumbled about ingrates
It’s a wonder he wasn't donned in pseudo military gear
Spewing with spit-freckled vile venom his pretend hates
O Dyana, you’re the most dangerous woman in Malaysia

The evil Empire worries that the Heartland dam may burst
Taking away unsullied youths upholding democracy dear
Rejecting all versions of deformasi (wakakaka) accursed
O Dyana, you’re the most dangerous woman in Malaysia

Tribute to the people's Tiger

Tribute to the people’s Tiger

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I saw the Khalsa Warrior saddled up on his white steed
With steely eyes, a lion’s heart and strong moral kirpa
And ready to offer for the downtrodden his good deed
Even if that requires him to ride bravely into Nirvana

Indomitable, courageous, resolute yet conscionable
He was the people’s Tiger with a compassionate heart
No legal or political challenge for him was impossible
Even if he had to upset sacred cows and the apple cart

So he has ridden his faithful steed into the setting sun
Along a lush valley of fragrant lily and bunga cempaka
But he wants us to know his tasks are yet all to be done
With even more after he reaches the Golden Gurdwara

Thus we his heirs of conscience, of public responsibilities
Must pick up his mantle even as we bid our Bhai adieu
And continue unabated his discharge of righteous duties
So he can sit peacefully on the right side of Waheguru

my tribute to Bhai published by Malaysiakini today