Selamba Denial

Malaysiakini - 'Selamba' denial of jailing opposition:

After G-D achieved the perfect man, He discarded that mold

And that explains why I am perfectly & magnificently unique

With a 10 in all my qualities, don't blame me for being so bold

Because I am just consummate, the awesome brainy Sheikh

I've never made any error, booper, blunder, fault or mistake

Anyone who says otherwise must be one terrible awful liar

How dare some even refer to me as a Ophiophagus snake

His or her lips should be stitched up in razor-sharp barbwire

As for imprisoning opposition people, please ask the police
I was the Prime Minister then test-driving the lovely Proton
That to increase its max speed, its weight should decrease
Lalang detainees not as bad as portrayed, t'was all a con

Anwar was a different case where he did things abominable

But I loved him as a son, even begging the law to let him go

The horrid men in blue, doggedly said no, so very inflexible

Endowing him with a black eye very much against my say-so

I'm innocent of all people have accused me of, pure lily white

You can ask my bosom friend from my Pocket for a testimony

I have not the slightest doubt he will swear to you I am alright

Whereas in the earlier bad days he did rail against my policy

Yes, ask him as he and son were by the police incarcerated

Alongside 103 others plus Kua Kia Soong & an angry Bhai
Not such a big deal for being hauled in, just pride lacerated
Their yester-year's grievance I am prepared today to mollify

Those whining whinging wonders should check on Thailand
Compare to up North our bastards were bloody damn lucky
I guess we've over-pampered prisoners here in Boleh-Land
They should thank me for being PM, they should be happy  

Didn't/don't they realise how kind hearted I really have been
Just one lousy black eye when it could have been far worse
Like a known Pinang Tokong they've feminine-like thin skin
I should be receiving gratitude when all I've gotten is curse

Tan Seng Giaw - Salt of the Earth

MM Online - Dropped as DAP candidate, Seng Giaw says will not defend Kepong (extracts):

Tan was rumoured to have fallen out of favour with the party leadership because of his criticism of the Penang government in managing environmental issues. — Picture via Facebook

KUALA LUMPUR, April 10 — Incumbent Kepong MP Tan Seng Giaw, who held office for 36 years, said he would not be defending his seat as an independent after DAP dropped him from the election.

Tan, who has held the Kepong parliament seat for eight consecutive terms since 1982, said he respected his party’s decision to move incumbent Segambut MP Lim Lip Eng to his seat in the 14th general election.

“Such is the fluctuations of politics and the decision made by party headquarters must be followed,’’ he told Malay Mail.

When asked whether he would contest as an independent and go up against Lim, Tan said no.

When asked further on whether he would help Lim campaign in Kepong, Tan said he would leave such decisions to the people.

“I will let the people decide and see what they want.”

However, Tan said he will continue to serve the people in Kepong and was humbled by the chance to do so.

“I still have my office in Kepong and people can still call me and make appointments to see me if they need any help. I'm here to stay and serve as best I could.

“In fact I just came back from an event in Kepong and there an unusual high number of people there today to see me,’’ he said.

Now, an eulogy to Tan Seng Giaw from an admirer:

Through times many a good man has sadly fallen
Not in honorable combat but by the hidden blade
Of blood stained Machiavellian hands oh so rotten
But whose time will 'come' too, whose fate'll fade

Goodness, righteousness all seem to be forgotten
Overcome by dark forces of greed and intolerance
By Helheim wolves, ravenous hounds misbegotten
Fed by gluttonous avarice from Dark Concordance

Will such Evil be given all their iniquitous free rein
To subdue, suppress & suffocate those of rectitude
Denying truthfulness by severing the tenuous skein
Of decency bound to an otherwise innocent attitude

But a Force monitors our actions, be it good or evil
Like a quiet accountant tallying our actions thus far
It measures, evaluates, records since time primeval
& remembers, never forgets, always fair, our Karma

Crispy Haiku

MM Online - Masterchef UK host tries to backtrack from ‘crispy’ rendang row:

where's Curly? 

From Wikipedia:

Traditional haiku consist of 17 on (also known as morae though often loosely translated as "syllables"), in three phrases of 5, 7, and 5 on, respectively.

Looked for crispy skin

In a bowl of wonton soup
With tomato sauce

Say sayonara
It's the Saharan welcome
Like f**k you baby

How to spell crispy
It's B-O-D-O-H lah
Pandai chong budak

Meat falling apart
Like melting ice cream in sun
MasterChef my foot

Britain's Japanese tofu stir fried in kimchi 

Rendang-Wannabe

in Shambala we call it rendang

There was a man who works as a chef at the BBC
When confronted with a rendang he was all at sea
Very much to his chagrin
The chook had no crispy skin
But forgive his silly tastes, he wanted rendang KFC

Wakakaka

There was another man who wished us all 'namaste'

Thinking that'd be good as we have come a long way

His geography stops at India

Or in a London Bombay cafeteria

But he didn't realise his nonsense f**ked up our day

Wakakaka again

Orang Putih Crispy Cock Cuisine

Rendang Malaysia

Rendang has its origin in the Minangkabau cuisine
But dumbo Ar-Moe believes it's curry goreng KFC
He wanted the rendang chook to have crispy skin
The Ma' Salleh rendang of chook with skin crispy

Yes, he talked chicken, he talked skin, he tok kok
To him, nasi goreng is so different from fried rice
And a stir fry pan is not the same as a chef's wok
While Kuching pepper is to him not even a spice

Rendang a la Wallace with crispy kok-skin?

You'd wish someone in Malaysia with a 'Namaste'

And do the hula-hula in the desert of Saudi Arabia

Then on seeing Donald Trump you say 'Sayonara'

Oh, with lovely koay teow t'ng you add macadamia

Orang putih MasterChef only cook mashed potato

That's smothered with coleslaw and grey mustard

Somewhere in that muck you'd find a green tomato

That goes every well with sour vinegar-ed custard

lacks the authentic 'al dente' of Torode's spaghetti Bolognaise