11/06/2018

Silat, Taichi & Akido Haiku


Tempest blows furious

The willow tree remains calm

Like Truth, it stays pure


6/07/2018

Opiate for the Masses

Karl Marx: "Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people".


Give the masses their opiate to satisfy their addiction
For RM30 million, the drug calms mindless mongrels
Hypnotise them from rabid viciousness to submission
Subduing restlessness and silencing hysterical vocals

Fix their green-hued eyes on the green fields of footies
Keep their most violent minds on 22 people in battles
And stuff debased mouths with kacang, chips & cookies
There's no need to worry they'd even change channels



By then, it'll 2023, wakakaka.



hope it's TSG, Zaid, Sangeet, Hafidz or Maryam 

Chu'oi Soo Ong - Raja Gadoh


WTF is smug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug Lim Kit Siang up to?

Why the fCk would MCA, Gerakan, MIC etc claim the money found in Najib's house? It's an UMNO business so why is LKS dragging MCA, Gerakan, MIC into it?

The 14th Election is already over and please note GE15 is still 5 years away, yet this Chu'oi Soo Ong atau Raja Gadoh masih terus cari pasal. He even cucuk for re-election in Perlis when another party had won 10 out of 15 state seats.

A born vitriolic banshee and professional agitator, LKS just has to cucuk and cucuk to prevent sleeping dogs lying peacefully.

If he is so free and full of toxic energy please resume his pre-Pakatan Harapan rants against Mahathir lah, that is, if he has the balls.


I was born a trouble-maker, one par excellence
Life would be meaningless without shit-stirring
In my career there is no such thing as balance
I fling poo around regardless if that's deserving


I close one eye to "M"atey's humongous follies
To lull gullible guppies that all is bloody well
Now, tok kok most time is among my hobbies
Masking sonny's f*up to say his work is swell

I am restless because there's less stuff to bull
So I'm gonna make de bloody UMNO apologise
Then shooting off to KK where it is damn cool
To ask folks there if they'd like to circumcise

I am known as a bloody trouble-making assh@le
It's in my DNA so what I do is grin at other's woes
Though I have lived long in reality I have no soul
Other than to find faults and poke others' noses

I'm D'informal Pakatan Minister Plenipotentiary
I can give orders, fCk people up & make policies
Thus I'm warning "resign or be fCk' to Apandi Ali
And promises to find justice for TBH are fallacies


 Lim Kit Siang with MACC strategic communications director Rohaizad Yaakob (centre) and other opposition leaders at the MACC Office in Putrajaya, August 6, 2015. — Picture by Yusof Mat Isa

what a fCking hypocrite and traitor to Teoh Beng hock's family and his memory

and just one lousy year after his pathetic pompous speech vowing:

Beng Hock’s death would be “in vain” if firstly, his killers remain free and unpunished; and secondly, the MACC is not held responsible and liable for his death and instead allowed to “go to great lengths” to participate in a “cover-up” of the actual causes and circumstances of Beng Hock’s death at the TBH RCI, with MACC officers telling “lies after lies” at the RCI.

I call on Malaysians to stand for justice and to make a commitment that they will not rest until the “cover-up” of Teoh Beng Hock’s criminal and senseless murder is exposed and the killers, including MACC, are brought to justice. 




4/14/2018

Selamba Denial





After G-D achieved the perfect man, He discarded that mold
And that explains why I am perfectly & magnificently unique
With a 10 in all my qualities, don't blame me for being so bold
Because I am just consummate, the awesome brainy Sheikh

I've never made any error, booper, blunder, fault or mistake
Anyone who says otherwise must be one terrible awful liar
How dare some even refer to me as a Ophiophagus snake
His or her lips should be stitched up in razor-sharp barbwire



As for imprisoning opposition people, please ask the police
I was the Prime Minister then test-driving the lovely Proton
That to increase its max speed, its weight should decrease
Lalang detainees not as bad as portrayed, t'was all a con

Anwar was a different case where he did things abominable
But I loved him as a son, even begging the law to let him go
The horrid men in blue, doggedly said no, so very inflexible
Endowing him with a black eye very much against my say-so



I'm innocent of all people have accused me of, pure lily white
You can ask my bosom friend from my Pocket for a testimony
I have not the slightest doubt he will swear to you I am alright
Whereas in the earlier bad days he did rail against my policy

Yes, ask him as he and son were by the police incarcerated
Alongside 103 others plus Kua Kia Soong & an angry Bhai
Not such a big deal for being hauled in, just pride lacerated
Their yester-year's grievance I am prepared today to mollify



Those whining whinging wonders should check on Thailand
Compare to up North our bastards were bloody damn lucky
I guess we've over-pampered prisoners here in Boleh-Land
They should thank me for being PM, they should be happy  

Didn't/don't they realise how kind hearted I really have been
Just one lousy black eye when it could have been far worse
Like a known Pinang Tokong they've feminine-like thin skin
I should be receiving gratitude when all I've gotten is curse





4/10/2018

Tan Seng Giaw - Salt of the Earth

MM Online - Dropped as DAP candidate, Seng Giaw says will not defend Kepong (extracts):


Tan was rumoured to have fallen out of favour with the party leadership because of his criticism of the Penang government in managing environmental issues. — Picture via Facebook

KUALA LUMPUR, April 10 — Incumbent Kepong MP Tan Seng Giaw, who held office for 36 years, said he would not be defending his seat as an independent after DAP dropped him from the election.

Tan, who has held the Kepong parliament seat for eight consecutive terms since 1982, said he respected his party’s decision to move incumbent Segambut MP Lim Lip Eng to his seat in the 14th general election.

“Such is the fluctuations of politics and the decision made by party headquarters must be followed,’’ he told Malay Mail.

When asked whether he would contest as an independent and go up against Lim, Tan said no.

When asked further on whether he would help Lim campaign in Kepong, Tan said he would leave such decisions to the people.

“I will let the people decide and see what they want.”

However, Tan said he will continue to serve the people in Kepong and was humbled by the chance to do so.

“I still have my office in Kepong and people can still call me and make appointments to see me if they need any help. I'm here to stay and serve as best I could.

“In fact I just came back from an event in Kepong and there an unusual high number of people there today to see me,’’ he said.


Now, an eulogy to Tan Seng Giaw from an admirer:



Through times many a good man has sadly fallen
Not in honorable combat but by the hidden blade
Of blood stained Machiavellian hands oh so rotten
But whose time will 'come' too, whose fate'll fade

Goodness, righteousness all seem to be forgotten
Overcome by dark forces of greed and intolerance
By Helheim wolves, ravenous hounds misbegotten
Fed by gluttonous avarice from Dark Concordance

Will such Evil be given all their iniquitous free rein
To subdue, suppress & suffocate those of rectitude
Denying truthfulness by severing the tenuous skein
Of decency bound to an otherwise innocent attitude

But a Force monitors our actions, be it good or evil
Like a quiet accountant tallying our actions thus far
It measures, evaluates, records since time primeval
& remembers, never forgets, always fair, our Karma





4/06/2018

Crispy Haiku

MM Online - Masterchef UK host tries to backtrack from ‘crispy’ rendang row:


where's Curly? 


From Wikipedia:

Traditional haiku consist of 17 on (also known as morae though often loosely translated as "syllables"), in three phrases of 5, 7, and 5 on, respectively.

Looked for crispy skin
In a bowl of wonton soup
With tomato sauce

Say sayonara
It's the Saharan welcome
Like f**k you baby

How to spell crispy
It's B-O-D-O-H lah
Pandai chong budak

Meat falling apart
Like melting ice cream in sun
MasterChef my foot


Britain's Japanese tofu stir fried in kimchi 





Rendang-Wannabe



in Shambala we call it rendang

There was a man who works as a chef at the BBC
When confronted with a rendang he was all at sea
Very much to his chagrin
The chook had no crispy skin
But forgive his silly tastes, he wanted rendang KFC


Wakakaka


There was another man who wished us all 'namaste'
Thinking that'd be good as we have come a long way
His geography stops at India
Or in a London Bombay cafeteria
But he didn't realise his nonsense f**ked up our day

Wakakaka again

4/03/2018

Orang Putih Crispy Cock Cuisine


Rendang Malaysia

Rendang has its origin in the Minangkabau cuisine
But dumbo Ar-Moe believes it's curry goreng KFC
He wanted the rendang chook to have crispy skin
The Ma' Salleh rendang of chook with skin crispy

Yes, he talked chicken, he talked skin, he tok kok
To him, nasi goreng is so different from fried rice
And a stir fry pan is not the same as a chef's wok
While Kuching pepper is to him not even a spice



Rendang a la Wallace with crispy kok-skin?

You'd wish someone in Malaysia with a 'Namaste'
And do the hula-hula in the desert of Saudi Arabia
Then on seeing Donald Trump you say 'Sayonara'
Oh, with lovely koay teow t'ng you add macadamia

Orang putih MasterChef only cook mashed potato
That's smothered with coleslaw and grey mustard
Somewhere in that muck you'd find a green tomato
That goes every well with sour vinegar-ed custard


lacks the authentic 'al dente' of Torode's spaghetti Bolognaise





3/17/2018

He cries out unbelievably Kali Ini, we'll Ubah


It'll be on the day he realises to his own horror
But a horror he swiftly suppresses with alacrity
That he is venturing beyond barb wired border
One set by his own ethnic agenda, a mendacity



O he will swallow hard when he takes that step
That will crush his own integrity, his principle
His morals, his ethics, his values, his own rep
Mind, his principles, values, etc were minimal


Like nervous Chinamen stepping into Yasukuni
Or Obama attending grand Southern KKK meet
He will be walking straight into enemy territory
A vegetarian eating grilled sirloin at a BBQ treat


'Tis the vehicle, the Rocket, that dashyat wahana
De hornbill stares at a once enemy, ya a stranger
But he cries out unbelievably Kali Ini, we'll Ubah
D'keris he cherishes, but will he discard forever



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